Currently feeling: Constipated

The time now is 4:15AM. I'm sitting at an unfamiliar desk, with my sniffling hypersensitive nose. Cannot believe that I have moved into hall. As usual, irony has found itself a snug, fitting position in my life- once expectant with much hope of a new life in a new room, I have been met with a reality of a room that cannot be any more ancient. I hate to complain. I have always secretly hated whiny people and I cannot believe that I am being forced by circumstances into becoming one myself. My walls seem to be covered with a graveyard of adhesive-related disfigurements. The floor is reminiscent of those in hospitals; don't even get me started on the toilets. And I think I just might be allergic to my bed.

Why am I thrown into a third-world slum basement when 75 percent of the others living on-campus are in rooms that are furnished hospitably for students?! Mine just looks worst than a hospital ward. ALSO, I wish the lizard/gecko outside my window would just SHUT THE FUCK UP because at 4:30AM in the morning, I'm harboring many, many sadistic tendencies. The only thing that stands between me and a dead lizard is the toilet. Yes, the irony of ironies, how come toilets are always the dirtiest places when it's where people go to clean up?

MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW COME MY ROOM STILL LOOKS DIRTY AFTER I'VE SPENT AN AFTERNOON ON ALL FOURS, TAPING UP SPECKS AND CLUSTERS OF DUST AND DISGUSTING-LOOKING HAIR AND EVEN AFTER WIPING EACH TILE COVERING THE AREA OF MY ROOM!? NOT TO MENTION THAT I'M ACHING ALL OVER BECAUSE OF THAT ENDEAVOR. WHY DOES THE SHOWER ONLY SUPPLY HOT WATER SPORADICALLY!?! WHY DO THE SHOWER TAPS GET JAMMED!?! WHY IS THE SECOND CUBICLE STILL FUCKING SWAMPED WITH TISSUE EN MASSE, EVER SINCE CS FOC!?! AREN'T THEY EVER GONNA DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? AND HOW COME MY ROOM LIGHTS ARE A DIRTY YELLOW, MAKING EVERYTHING IN IT LOOK UNSANITARY AND UNWELCOMING. WHY!?! WHY THE FUCK AM I SO INCONVENIENCED WHEN THIS IS SUPPOSE TO MAKE IT ALL EASIER?! WHY DO EVERYONE SEEM TO FIT IN ALL SO WELL WHEN I FEEL LIKE THIS!?

And I'm not even done yet. I think I'm messed up. It's unjust that for a mere five dollars difference, there are people living in worlds apart under the same campus. This is so uncool. Why does NTU make these things happen? I feel like I'm in a bad place. Psychologically and physically. And I thought that this rant would be cathartic, but it obviously isn't working. I am feeling the angst and injustice. Then of course it may just be me.

There's no one to turn to because everyone's in a better place. So much more feelings that can't be captured by words. Psychologically challenged. Literally put off by the toilets. NOTHING IS COMING OUT. Day ONE of real hall life isn't working out for me. Hopefully day TWO would be better. It must be.

FML.