life's an open casket

today's my grandma's death anniversary and i woke up earlier than usual to visit my grandma's niche at the columbarium at mandai with my family. can't believe that it has already been four years... this is always hard for me to talk about because referring to her in past tense is something that i'm still unused to. so i'm going to avoid talking about that now because it's just plain silly to make myself upset.

somehow, every visit to the columbarium always makes me feel a little depressed. the sight of oncoming funeral processions, the caskets streaming into the place always remind me of ones that i've previously participated in and the unavoidable ones that will eventually come in the future..no matter how hard we try not to talk about them, we all know they'll eventually come. life is a finite quality, and that is something we all understand, but so hard to live by. sigh.

oh well, life is after all life. when it starts, it starts and it'll end when it should end. i'm not going to be trite and say that 'we gotta live each day like it's the last' because it might just be the most overused inspirational phrase of the century. but really, there are an approximate of six billion people all over the world, all different, and all over the world, how many of them will give a hoot if you die? there is nothing we can do about it. all i promise is that if i'm still around when you die, whoever you are, if i know about it, i'll probably go to your funeral. no kidding.