Musings

I am collected, calm and composed. I am serious, a little too collected, calm and composed about everything at the moment. Strange. No usual adrenaline rushes, no frantic moments, days have been completely void of the usual heart palpitations, headaches, chest pains...The trauma of nonbeing totally absent. Not just about the much feared JCTs, during debates with strange, non anticipated cases. All these happening after I've set foot into Temasek JC.

Calmness is no fun, I feel like a robot.

Let me tell you what has calmness done to rip and destroy my entire personality. I only speak if I have to (and during sleep deprived moments where I just ramble). I plug into my mp3 player and just shut off from the rest of the world which I cannot be bothered to live in any way. It's like an entirely different planet. Lol, I am serious about the level of disconnection that I have, maybe the enthusiasm gene mutated into some autistic gene on certain levels. Cold, unfeeling and impersonal. Hell know what TJ did to me to make me who I am. Argh. Ok, fine totally random and I think I am rambling now, because I totally forgot about my purpose of this post- to blog abt JTS.

But then, I don't really have any conclusive statement to make about JTS at all. It went all right I suppose. Haha, I survived half a year in debates, so yay for me. And yay for everyone else who survived the stress, excessive workload and what not. It's okay, another year will go by soon. And it'd be our turn to do the same thing and honestly, right now, I am indifferent. Indifferent about EVERYTHING, urgh, bad bad bad. Ok, I seriously rambling and I shall like continue watching Grey's now before I write down all my innermost, dirtiest darkest secrets. Not like I have many anyway.

Love,
Xinzi