Against All Odds

I hurt inside, really. I am just a thin breadth from insanity, this gap that is closing fast on me. I am collapsing beneath the collective weight of debate, unread lecture notes and personal issues. It's ridiculous. The emokid in me is back with a vengeance and I am only that close to depression. It kind of sucks. But there are promises made and promises to be kept and none of it is going to be broken, I am still going to make sure my JCTs go well, my debate commitments kept in check and that my close friends still stay close.

Don't worry dear friends, friends are a priority in my life :)))))

Nonetheless, I feel like I am losing the control that I desire much. I can't stop things from spinning out of control, I can't get out of the trouble that I am in, I can't memorise things as fast as I'd wish to, I can't do a lot of things that I thought I could. Feeling really weak, I sort of believe that I am herniating somewhere inside from all the sneezing, ugh. Medical proofs, I need them, if only I can drag my sorry ass to the clinic. Which I will, because or I'll be facing very big wraths of very big people. Damnnnnnnn it. I don't have enough time for myself and the flu virus has to rob me of time. It's effed up. I have loads of shit to do that I haven't started.

I am feeling very very annoyed right now. Very, very.
I cannot fall now;
against all odds.

X.