I am horrified. Two days of absence last week from school and suddenly it means that project work's GPP is due tomorrow and I only know about it today. Remember the "Oh tell your friends who are not here" thing that teachers love to quip at the end of the lesson, it is propriety, it holds no bearing to what friends are suppose to do, well, supposedly. I hate project work, not because I can't do it, I can do something as banal as this any other day, I hate it because I have to work with people I don't like. And don't liking certain individuals is my mild substitute for what might possibly be something close to a vulgarity. Ugh. I hate it. My secondary school teacher wrote as a remark before that I work well with others, my uncle said that that didn't mean that others work well with me and I think that it is sort of true now. I don't know, but I must agree that liking or to a certain degree accepting others for who they are is a critical part of working with others, but it is very very difficult for me to accept working with someone that I don't like. It might not be professional, but that's how i function and I am not even going to hide it.
They say that if you can't change others, change yourself, change your outlook and it might actually help. Well, reality check. It doesn't. People who piss you off will continue to do so unless they suddenly develop a personality disorder or they get knock down by a bus and die. Since neither happens overnight unless you are really lucky, there is nothing you can do. Gigantic obnoxious pricks who ramble in a manner that irritates me (and many others) makes me a bad team player. Well, but it is comforting to know that a thousand other people share my thoughts and that makes me sort of normal but I guess my abhorrence is a little extreme.
Then there again, is how I tick.
I realise, there is every reason for me to believe I really am bipolar, in the medical sense. My favourite colours are black and white, I am either really happy or I sink into a state of depression, I chatter without punctuations or I shut myself into long bouts of silence. I talk to myself aloud a lot and I talk even more to myself in my head all the time. That's why I use the phrase "Never mind, it's nothing" even more often than the packets of green tea I have drank my entire school life, which is a lot, mind you. And that's probably why I enjoy blogging, its an excuse to speak to myself and know that millions of people out there do this as well. But yet, it is refreshing to always have a changing perspective towards things and know that things will never stay the same.
And on CCA.
And I thought girl guides was political. Ha ha ha. And honestly, underhand politics cheapen ev-er-yyyyy thing, it makes me wonder what people do in their heads all the time. Maybe talking to yourself isn't the scariest thing when you know that others have charters and drafts about conquering for themselves a title. Like haha,
hello my name is King/Queen of _(Insert PDP name)__, __(Insert Name)__.
Don't people ever believe that what's meant to be, will be anymore? I guess not. What's the whole big deal anyway!? Big ambitions squeeze humanity out of people, I believe. And like they all say,
Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutelyBeing very sure,
Xinzi
