Left behind

Chance, is but an excuse for the irresponsible who refuse the pride that people give them when we listen to what they have to say. Every word matters to me. Thus, when people write or speak, they should really think twice about it because there are fragile people in the world whose little worlds shatter when the harshness of criticism hit them. Words can change lives. Or it could just be me.

And yet, I do remember.

Your words. Words and sunlight. That's how I remembered why it mattered so much. It could have been twenty seconds, but really, I think it was like twenty seconds of forever. You said, just grow up. And I thought hard, the meanings do come but they do not come fully and I can only hope and guess what you really mean. Intentions that may seem like half-magic, yet hits upon hearts that are made up of oh, so breakable glass. I was never meant to be the child that you didn't want. I can only be left wondering with no closure, and I can't believe you went on the plane and flew away. What was held close, was in retrospect, juvenile in its midst and mists and can only leave me more confused than I ever wanted to allow myself to be.

And every time when I watch a plane go by, I'd be wondering if you had as much fun as me. Sometimes, I wish you did. But then on kinder days, I think it would be better if you didn't. You led me far, far out to sea and left me in deep waters, clinging onto a tangle of weed and the lonesome driftwood. You said you would be watching out for me, but I can only think of glass bottles with papers that have no words on them floating out in the open. The light that you promise, I can only wait for the stars, the land is still too far away for light to reach. Was it you or was it time that did me wrong? Left behind.

But yet, I remember.

It was a beautiful day to grow up.

Love,
Xinzi