McLean

there's a missing link, but i just can't seem to figure out.
i make an effort but the weight just drags me down along- yes, it descends lower.
all the overdramatic conversations in my head, mental straitjacket and all. it's pretty tough to try to live normal everyday even pretending to live like i actually care. the truth is everything in life in me is insignificant, don't even know why im feeling so upset these days. and upset, really is an understatement, it really is more like suicidal actually :\ but luckily, the fear of death is stronger than the will to die and therefore i'll stay alive.

HAHA. i can't believe the emo-tion of my current state. oh goodness. what's happening to me! im beginning to sound stupid already.

but really i've got to say that i've always had this mental picture of myself and a dog, that drags me along for a walk in a park called Time. leash and barks and all. yes, disturbed and tormented. i feel so lost in my head.

must be the unseen stress. i need my poetry, music, movie and icecream this weekend or i'll go bonkers like Rowe on anyone.

McLeanHospital.

xoxo,
Xinzi