Lighted

debate was bruising today. shan't comment much, terrible experiences like a debate screw-up isn't suppose to be part of your happy memories. oh, and in addition to that- im my class' reading rep. whatever that means, all i know is i have to keep going to the national lib to choose books for my class to read. over these two years. like im SO excited abt it. totally.

well well. collected my specs (:

and...life may not be an etch-a-sketch but there are things in life that makes me feel lucky and so contented.my little own jet

haha, there are really so many beautiful things in nature waiting to be felt and appreciated- i can't wait to be able to that.

this makes me go "wow"

seriously, i don't know why im being so strangely typical these days. soooo not me :P but, it's like the way i carry myself each day is devoid of meaning...can't seem to really figure out what's making me do the things i do each day and im not talking about classes. sometimes, i really feel that there has been some sort of absence in my life, like this lack of a centerpiece! i can't stand this aimlessly-floating-around sort of feeling and as hard as i may try i know it will be somewhere else where i can regain this meaning.

a lot of confusion just seems to be rudely entering my life, one after another and sometimes guilt just hits me like a falling flowerpot- sudden and painful. a truckload of questions with no answers and many many many moments where i feel so alone and stupid in and out of classes, people incessantly whining about how miserable they're feeling just isn't helping and i know i shouldn't add on to everyone's misery. it's hard, and that's why im actually speaking to a computer, well not literally but still it still feels like im doing that and it's really kind of dumbbbbb.

ugh, not that i was ever anywhere near smart to begin with.