help =x

ohmygoodness. i can't take it anymore, my heart's palpitations are killing me. shit. someone tell me what to do!?! why cant they just cooperate with me, since we all want the same goal. damn it laa, i feel an overwhelming surge of guilt spreading through me as i type these words. where's my dad?

rarrgh! i want so desperately to be stronger. its all for YOUR sake, not mine. i swear.